I knew that Blixa Bargeld did read from the catolog of Hornbach, a german home improvement retailer, but didn't know the readings, made to lure the german youth into the shops, are availible to download!
More info, german

Direct download:

• Bohrloch-Schlämme
  
• Feuchtschäden
  
• Fluginsekten-Vernichter
  
• Fuchsien-Stämmchen
  
• Hand drauf
  - Quarzit-Polygonal-Platten
  
• Salpeter-Entferner
  
• Schlagbohrmaschine
  - Schmutzwasser-Tauchpumpe
  
• Silikatfarbe
  
• Tipp
  
• Wandfliesen
  
• Zementschleier